Cutting Through Blog-ual Materialism

This post on another blog got me thinking about something.  I have a love-hate relationship with a lot of the "lifestyle" blogs that are out there - people sharing their experiences living outside the mainstream according to various principles like simplicity, homesteading, Waldorf, etc.  Obviously, I think they have something to offer (having started one of my own), but sometimes they leave a bad taste.  I'm seduced by the almost-requisite photos, always lovely and professional, and am prone to becoming equally seduced by the sense of inadequacy that at some point usually overwhelms me.  I wonder how a mother (as these bloggers almost always are) with four children finds the time to sew, spin, farm, bake 10 loaves of bread and knit a sweater every single day.  A good day for me means I got 6 or 7 diapers changed (quite a process with a combative toddler), I and/or the kiddo got cleaned and/or dressed, dinner got cooked, the dishes got washed, maybe some laundry got done, and if it was a really bonus day, I got some knitting or blogging or studying for my doula work done.  Even though I know what I'm up against in trying to get through my days, I still can't help but feel as though I'm not trying hard enough, somehow.  Either that or these mamas have amazingly, precociously independent children who aren't needing nursed or otherwise fed, changed, read to, comforted, or helped every five minutes.  It's hilarious to me now that I once thought I would work from home doing transcription while minding a toddler.  HA!  What naivete.  I'm saved, though, from feeling inadequate in that department by my brother-in-law and a dear friend who have both recently expressed that they can't get anything done either as a result of having to mind their children.  So in that light, I can only conclude that these superhuman bloggers are either unusually productive or that there is some dishonesty of reportage going on.  "Natural" and DIY lifestyles are trendy right now among a certain crowd, and there's an undoubted cache in that image of purity and industry.  I can understand the urge to portray your life in a certain light, and I recognize that I am also guilty of some similar sins of omission when I tell people what I'm into.  "Hey!  I knit things!  I bake bread!  We make beer!" and people are suitably impressed, but what I don't tell them is how long it took me to actually complete one hat or how many messy moments there were on the way to the Kodak one.  I'm not saying that any of these bloggers are insincere in their dedication to the lifestyles they portray, but sometimes I wonder how authentic those blogged-about portrayals are. 

All things considered, that's probably a trivial quibble, as I know that I alone am responsible for how good I feel about my life and what I do - what doesn't seem so trivial is a deeper disquiet that surfaces as I read.  For all the bloggers' claims toward rejecting the values of consumer-obsessed, stuff-obsessed, status-obsessed culture, I'm often aware of a not-so-subtle fetishization of possessions and accumulation.  Artful photos capture still-life montages of hip accoutrements, from vintage thrift scores to shelves and shelves arrayed with high-dollar all-wooden toys.  What exactly is the message here?  I certainly identify with and applaud the philosophy behind thrifting and wanting my child to have playthings that support our values, but the expression of those desires seems to have taken a different path in our household.  Maybe it's a function of disposable income; we simply don't have the money to go out and buy shelves full of anything, no matter how much we might value it.  And that still isn't, as I see it, really changing your fundamental relationship to stuff.  You might be making non-traditional choices that are unplugged from Big Consumerism, but it's still all about what you're accumulating, about being tied to possessions.

And we also started out with the grand idea that our daughter would have basically all "natural" toys, but we abandoned that in fairly short order.  We were given so many toys, and it seemed less wasteful to go ahead and use them, and certainly more polite to not refuse them.  We've gently steered people towards choices that we approve of when we've been asked, and there have been a couple things we've passed right along to others since they were just too far outside our philosophical boundaries.  And this goes for all the things we have and need for our daughter, from diapers to bowls.  So yeah, my kiddo has quite a few plastic things and she doesn't have a lot of the hip gear I see some mamas almost self-consciously pulling out of diaper bags, but she seems perfectly happy and we feel we're raising her right.

And all this leads me to ponder exactly what I'm doing here...  Why am I posting pictures of my yarn and talking up my resourcefulness?  Am I having a crisis of motivation as a blogger?  Maybe, though it's never a bad idea to do an occasional sort of self-authenticity check.  It's probably also time to go back and re-read Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism, which, even though it's more narrowly about Buddhism, is really one of the best general lessons on authenticity I've ever read.  And lifestyle bloggers, if you think I might be talking about you, please don't take it personally.  I get it.  I really do love what we all do.  I just need to go think about it.